A Latin word for resurrection is “Anastasis.” I’m thinking of making that the title of my next release. It’s a pretty word not just in the way it sounds when rolling off your tongue, but because it captures how this garage I’m working in has rekindled my desire to create music. It feels like a resurrection. Interestingly enough, “anastasis” also means a recovery from a debilitating condition. And that’s what a creative block can sometimes be: a state where you’re not moved in any which way, and it feels like you can’t force yourself to move from a position of idealessness or creativity depletion.
Like any resurrection, there has to be a “death.” For the past few years, my Acid42 project has lain in something close to death — or maybe more like a coma —thrown aside and deprioritized by a major creative block, and by life circumstances. Other things were just more important: burping the babies, changing the diapers, feeding milk to toddlers, finding a job, working the job, excelling at the job.
But like I said in a previous post, things stabilized and started falling into place:
- The kids are now more independent, and can ambulate on their own. Only one of the three is still in diapers, freeing up a major chore. Even our 2-year-old now has the smarts to find a stool so he can climb up and grab a piece of bread when he’s hungry. Now THAT is progress.
- I found a new job and have been with my company for the past year and 8 months. And it has been good. Stressful at first, but good in that I get to practice my craft (writing) daily and improve. Plus, I get to work with geniuses whose intellect and enthusiasm are infectious.
- We bought a new house, and there were way too many things to keep in cabinets. So the garage became a storage area for stuff, instead of for cars. I was able to commandeer a corner and set up once-dusty desks as my home office for the days when I get to work from home. And it doubles as my home recording studio as well.
- This led me to bring out my music-making laptop to see if I could get back into the habit. It worked too. Until it died.
My workhorse Toshiba Stellite laptop, which I bought back in 2002, gave birth to more than 80% of my musical output as Acid42. And here it was, with a screen that had started to discolor. I must have stored it in a bag where there was pressure on the screen area. It still worked fine. And I was able to eke out 4 more tracks from it before it decided to opt for a well-deserved retirement.
It was even my own stupidity that led to its downfall. There were some irritating behaviors that I thought might be solved by refreshing its Windows XP install. But I forgot just how much of a chop-chop project it has become over the years. It had a hard drive and RAM replacement/upgrade maybe a decade back? And I was missing some of the original drivers. I also had no way of rebooting from a USB CD-ROM drive. (The internal CD-ROM has been busted since 2005). I got the Blue Screen of Death, I couldn’t fix it. Despite a foot-long Google history showing searches regarding Windows tips, I didn’t have enough tech smarts to get it back to life. So I figured, why fight it? Let it rest. It’s done its job well.
Here then are the last four tracks I ever produced on the Toshiba.
Demolee – Muling Pag-Ahon (Acid42 byzantine remix)
Bleedingboy Soundtrack – In a Summer’s Fragrant Bloom v.42 [Acid42 Meander Mix]
Acid42 – This World Unfolding
Sparkee feat. Hazel Mae – Inversion (Acid42 Trapdoor Mix)
Fare thee well, ye scurvy mechanical contraption. Ye’ve served me well.